THE MAIDEN AND THE SAGE RIDE HOGS


EXT. INTERSTATE 84, EASTBOUND - DAY 

MAIDEN and SAGE driving Harley-Davidson motorcycles towards a secret robot project. Motorcycle helmets equipped with audio devices enabling/relaying conversation.

 

MAIDEN 

The meatloaf and mashed potatoes at that truck stop really filled me up.  

 

SAGE 

You alright? Wanna pull over next rest area? 

 

MAIDEN 

(low bass-tone chuckle) 

No. I'm alright. Just feels like my stomach is a balloon.  

 

SAGE 

(a beat) 

Not that I believe everything I hear, mind you, though there are rumors to the effect that touring on motorcycles for long periods of time puts fat on, too. I’d take it with a grain of salt.  

 

Sunbeams break through cumulous clouds and brighten roadway. SAGE raises helmet visor. MAIDEN looks towards SAGE who puckers lips of a kiss.  

 

MAIDEN 

While we're on the subject of bloated bellies, motorcycles, and fat, 
(a beat) 
been three months now since my last period.  

 

SAGE 

Strenuous exercise and stuff like that can curtail the monthly cycle. 
You know? 

 

MAIDEN 

(low bass-tone chuckle) 

Curtail. 
(a beat) 
You're funny. 

 

CUT TO:

 

INT. RURAL DINER – TABLE CLOTHED BOOTH 

 

After meal MAIDEN and SAGE look at map on iPhone screen portraying graphic route of scenic coastal Connecticut highway. 

 

SAGE 

We could easily spend a month of time touring along, and off and on this one highway towards Boston.  

 

MAIDEN 

Lots of flags for … 
(a beat) 
I imagine they're quaint colonial towns with shops, museums. 

 

SAGE 

We'll keep an eye out for Native American tourists spots, too. 

 

SAGE reaches hand to face of MAIDEN and fingers brush up and down cheek. 

 

SAGE 

(continues, with melodic voice) 

I'm just mad about Saffron. Saffrons’ mad about me.

 

CUT TO: 

 

EXT. RURAL HIGHWAY 

 

SAGE 

MAIDEN AMERICA, the ground we'll be plowing up to ready for planting treatorial seeds is …? shall I say, treacherous soil. We'll often be stepping on others toes, … to put it mildly. 

 

MAIDEN AMERICA accelerates motorcycle and maintains a distance in front of SAGE

 

MAIDEN 

Who we gonna start bullying first? 

 

SAGE 

(a beat) 

The English pilgrims who first settled in North America came here to live away from the mindset of the English populace. The English populace who pay social tithes to the king, and bidding to the call of the authorities from the Church of England. 
(a beat) 
A bit of quick historics: The Church of England was established by one of the many English kings who wanted a divorce from the queen he was married to. During these times it was the Church in Rome, what is today theCatholic Church that was recognized by most as the seat of authority for all Christian matters of concern, and the Pope said no to this king dudes request for an official divorce. So this king took matters into his own hands and simply outlawed the authority of Rome inside his kingdom. He then created his own church. Those persons who became the bishops of this new church have little choice but to grant this king his request for a divorce from the queen.  

 

MAIDEN 

Wow. That queen must've been peeved, to say the least, huh? No more banquets for her. 

 

SAGE 

If I recollect correctly the reason why this king wanted a divorce was because the queen couldn't give him a son. All kings want to have a male heir to the throne after they die. And so because she can't bare children, he wants to divorce her and then remarry to another who will give him a son. But because this queen he's divorcing now would legitimately be next in line as heir to the throne, and not a future son born from whomever he marries next, he had this queen he divorced killed. 

 

MAIDEN 

He killed her? 

 

SAGE 

Not he himself. He had someone else cut off her head. 
(chuckle; a beat) 
That's the times. The way things were back then.  

 

MAIDEN 

And so basically that's how the English people got a church established in their name? 

 

SAGE 

Basically, yes, Ma'am. 
And to be a good person, that is, to be a good and loyal, upstanding member of the English community you would always act and speak favorably about this king's church. The pilgrims were considered a radical Christian denomination by the majority of English folk, and harassment of them was tolerated by the what we call police today. They the Puritans took the abuse for a time and eventually made plans to leave.  

 

MAIDEN 

You thinkin' a thunkin' the Creator didn't want this king to have children? 
Maybe? 

 

SAGE accelerates to position motorcycle alongside MAIDEN.  

 

SAGE 

Oh, MAIDEN AMEERICA, wow. 
Do you already see what I'm leading up to? 
Pull it out. Just speak your thoughts out loud to me now.  

 

MAIDEN 

Uhm? No. I don't have an idea why. 
I'm just asking to hear what you thunk. 
(chuckle)

SAGE 

A couple hundred years and Republic forms of government will soon begin to flourish over the European nations. How would people of today regard the royal family of Great Britain were this king to have perhaps listened to the thoughts from his heart and by doing so he set in motion the events which in reality it was the United States which set the example causing all the other European nations to eventually follow suit? 

 

SCENES OF MOTORCYCLES TRAVELING ALONG RURAL HIGHWAY.  

 

MAIDEN 

That is an interesting set of thoughts about the Creator.  

 

CUT TO:

 

EXT. REST AREA OFF HIGHWAY NEAR OCEAN SHORELINE - DAY 

 

SAGE 

The Puritans were the first Christians to encounter the Native North Americans. And for the next two hundred and fifty years these indigenous people will be …? 
(a beat)
Think of the power of knowledge. There was this dude in the late 1800's named James Maxwell
who studied the phenomena of electricity. He wrote mathematical equations describing the relationship between  electricity and magnetism. Because of Maxwell and his equations a hundred years later the West has invented a proliferation of different electronic machines and devices. Some extol Maxwell the person for this tremendous contribution towards advancing the quality of life in the West. But I would also have to give a lot of credit to the environment that allowed a young boy to form the frame of mind and then to cultivate the type of attitudes which furthered and eventually allowed those mathematical thoughts of an adult Maxwell to be discovered and occur. The Wright brothers of airplane and Kitty Hawk fame also come to mind now. The environment that the Wright brothers were raised inside of played just as important a role to the discovery of the methods and systems of flight as did their personal ambition and perseverance.  

 

MAIDEN 

Yeah, that makes sense. I can see that. 

 

SAGE 

And so were I to proffer a strategy which if it were to have been employed by the Puritans and the others who followed and settled amongst the North American Indians, this strategy would entail impressing upon the leaders of the Indian nations that the institutions of the West and its order of civil life is more advantageous to the majority of folks than the customs of their Indian nation. 
(a beat) 
Quickly put into words now, but do you understand what I'm saying? 

 

MAIDEN 

Similar to the predicament of the emperor and the others in the movie, The Last Samurai. I understand what you're getting at but what great things of Europe or England at that time would the Puritans have considered so great? 
Great enough to talk about and then try to impress the Indian leaders with? 

 

SAGE 

What great things of England during the early seventeenth century? You got me on that at the moment. But I'm sure like you you want to believe that through persuasive dialog the reality of those two-hundred fifty years of North American hostilities could possibly have been altered. Imagine like the Mormons basically run the State of Utah, and the people living there are basically cool to everyone else. Well, let's imagine all those missionaries who went to the leaders of the Apache, Cherokee, Iroquois, and others nations and instead of talking some cockamamie-sounding nonsense about Jesus that concludes with talk of the blood of Christ and justification by faith mental loop-de-dos
for the Indian leaders to ponder over with, … well, they instead talked a different kind of talk that really made sense and the reality is today that most all the Indian nations have evolved into States of their own, and they evolved so much so that they rival New York and California as far as GDP is concerned.  

 

MAIDEN 

What's a GDP? 

 

SAGE 

It's a monetary amount of total goods and services that a nation or State has sold during a period of time. The larger the number means more goods were sold, which is better. 
(a beat) 
And so like the Mormons basically ghettoize the State of Utah today, imagine because people talked the talk hundreds of years ago there are also today several States of the Union populated with a majority of affluent and patriotic citizens of Native American descent. I'm following this train of thought to pose the question as to whether circumstances were such that …, was it possible or impossible for there to have been peace and prosperity, or were hostilities between the settlers and the Indians for two-hundred fifty long years the only course of events that could have occurred? 

 

Scenes of the highway during an autumn day. 

 

MAIDEN 

Hey dude, let's put a pin in it. 
Boop! 
Come back to these thoughts later. 

 

SAGE 

That's a big ten-four. 
(a beat) 
… just love your puddin', … Puddin'. 

 

© 2014Kurt L Hanson